lazyantics chapter 19

i felt kinda down though i booked out for this week... this feeling of "?" someone is so hurting and no matter what I do... I just can't seem to free myself out of this... I did try really hard and do all I can but to no avail... sometimes i felt real stupid... what is the thing that I really want... am I too easily pleased and too easily satisfied.. I felt real useless with myself... I really dunno what to do and what am I doing now.. I am not happy.. why is this bringing me so much misery... am I too "?" already... it's the first time I have this kinda feeling... man... why could this happen to me... watched a movie with faizul, zhuo wei and delvin... watched failure to launch... a nice movie... wonder if there's any difference to the reality... I hope mine could be like this too... going to book in later again.. another 5 days of intensive training... really hates the bloody training... just hope that 2 years will pass really really fast... hope this coming week will turn out real fine and i'll get to book out again.. it's so precious for me... meeting up with my close brothers... man.. without them.. i think the feeling will be even worse... thanks to you guys i feel much better... thanks for everything.. for always being there.... i hope i can conquer myself soon...

lazyantics chapter 18

phew.. haven been blogging for so damn long.. somehow i don't really have the feeling to blog anymore cos I am so damn tired... went for national service for 2 weeks already... times are so freaking tough... this is how my daily schedule goes inside the home team academy.. wake up at 5.30 in the morning.. the first session of physical training is at 6.30 to 8.... 500 push ups and 1000 crunches.. somehow i feel the FI is like a remote control and the platoon is the tv... they just need to say like 45 degrees to the right on your palms down.. we have to go down in push up position.. then change to crunches position... after the 1st session... I think everyone is already trembling from the exercise.. then breakfast... 9.30 to 11... second session of physical training.. another 500 push ups and 1000 crunches.. I think my stomach is knife-proof now.. haha... after that is lunch.. gotta admit the food there is good.. haha... ever since i got in.. my appetite has been real good... eating alot.. think i gained a few pounds.. 3 to 6.. another 500 push ups and 1000 crunches.. in addition a 10 km run.. what the hell... imagine a life like this.. fu*k.. we are not allowed to have a watch.. we don't even really know the time at all.. just like robinson crusoe... after dinner we have night drill.. and it usually ends around 10... and lights out is at 10.30.. what the hell... smells like shit every day.... the FIs are assholes.. some are nice but most of them are serious bastards... think once one has encountered national service.. hirman's scoldings will feel like nothing anymore... haha.. seriously I shoulda go for national service earlier because most my squad mates are really childish.. some are sex-obessed.. talking about sex 24/7.. sick.. wonder what actually goes on in their minds... there's actually a gay in my bunk.. but he's nice.. someone who can talk to... been talking alot to him about the problems i have.. like love stuffs.. my life.. he always give interesting answers.. very nice person.. and don't discriminate them please.. they are actually nice people who are born this way... but national service life in the bunk is quite fun.. talks and jokes.. there are actually alot of funny people around... different people u never think u would encounter... I just hope the ippt test would faster come and then I don't have to suffer the training anymore... really so sick of this bloody shit... going to book in on sunday again.. hope i can meet up with some friends... aite... that's about all.. i'm tired.. turning in now.. see ya real soon..

lazyantics chapter 17

guys.. i am reporting for ns now already.. take care guys.. i love u guys and always will..

lazyantics chapter 16

woah.. just got back from zy's farewell party.. didn't really felt like going but I want to spend more time with my colleagues like linda, faizul and azmil and alot more..... was feeling really tired today.. cos maybe I did the minutes for the past meeting till 5 am in the morning.. woke up at like 10.30 am.. supposedly I wanted to prepare something but somehow thoughts came into my mind and like what if it ain't appreciated... so i went back into my room.. sat down and listened to music till 1... haha.. stupid me.. shoulda done it though.. shave my hair yesterday accompanied by my brother and freddy... slacked at my house.. i will wait for you... really.. hope u believe in me and give me a chance.....