lazyantics chapter 3

Had my off day today.. supposedly was planning to go out with kenneth and yoke but in the end, because of last night chilling outside Mac.. most of us woke up late but even worse was that yoke didn't even pick up the call at all.. big ass... spent the whole day designing this script.. looking into websites to find some related codes and all.. until about 9 plus that I'm finally done with this.. but I'm really sad.. things between me and her seems to be getting from bad to worse... I seriously don't understand what's the freaking problem.. why do I need to explain every single thing? Why? Why do I have to explain to her like I'm in the wrong when actually she's making a fuss out of nothing.. when I have my off day.. I'm often too tired to move.. and I always leave my phone in my bag thus I always couldn't hear it ringing and she complained I don't find her important.. Why can I do all these last times.. fuck man.. things changed.. I used to be working part time at starhub.. I got like 5 days off.. and now I'm practically working every single day that I'm so tired I can't even go swimming at all... why can't she understand despite me explaining all these to her so many times before... I'm seriously so sick of all these that I felt like giving up so much already but in the end... thinking back of all those memories that we have and the way she took care of me.. I don't bear to.. She's a very nice girl.. but what's the freaking problem.. I can't work this out anymore.. cos I tried to so many times that I think I'm going down.. sometimes when I'm sitting there alone.. I wonder will I be better off if I was alone.. doing the things I want.. buy whatever I want to.. go clubbing whenever I want.. even work like hell for the overtime pay.. When I first joined forum.. it's because she always ask me to accompany her and not wanting to disappoint her.. I MIA and then I lost my chance of promotion and hirman loses his trust in me.. he felt disappointed in me.. I really regret all this.. I coulda get the promotion and really I can do it.. but who believes.. fuck man... if I have the chance to turn back time.. I really will grab the chance with my life.. I really can do it.. really... but it will never comes back...